this whole "single mother" thing is harder than it looks

And extremely exhausting. Especially when you're working and trying to pack at the same time. I'm so sleepy.

Abby's been trying to be good this week. She really is a good baby. It's just that sometimes, Mommy's need a break, even if it's just for a few minutes. She gets heavy after awhile! Jimmy's going to be home tomorrow and I know she's going to be excited to see him. You should see the grin she gets when he talks to her on the phone. She gets so very very excited!

Charles said today that he's going to miss her. He hasn't been around baby giggles and smiles in a long time and I think he really has fun playing with her at work. I think he really is going to miss her. I bet SarahBelle will. That dog loves Abby. And Abby thinks it's really funny when SarahBelle licks her feet.

We had her four month well baby check up yesterday. The doctor says she's perfect. 13 pounds 2 ounces, 24 and a half inches long, head circumference of 16 and a quarter. She's in the 50th percentile of everything, so she's growing nicely. The nurses couldn't get over how cute she was and Dr. Isales said she is one of the smiliest babies he's ever seen, which I think it cool. Everyone seems to be so excited by her smiles, you know? It's very cute. She grins a lot. It's great.

But right now? Pack some more and then sleep as I have to work early tomorrow and it's going to be a long day. Love you all.

............................it's been a LONG week and a half

And I've been exhausted and I'm very very sorry I haven't been updated. There will be lots and lots of pictures posted this evening when I get home but, at the moment, I am at work so do not have the ability to upload pictures.

Momma came into town on June 27th. It was so great to have her in town for awhile. She hasn't been in Key West since right after Lil Miss was born, so she hasn't seen her, in person, in three months. She's gotten much bigger, and I swear she grew an inch in the time that Momma was here visiting. She is sprouting like weed! She's at least thirteen pounds now. She's definitely going to be more than double her birth weight by six months!

We went to Orlando late last week so that Jimmy could interview for jobs. He looked at places in Orlando and also interviewed with a company on Ponce Inlet, near Daytona Beach. He was offered a job there the next day and took it. So we're moving to Daytona Beach! He and Momma are actually there right now (they drove up last night), finding an apartment and getting things settled. Then he's going to work up there for two weeks and I'm going to finish things up down here with Charles. He's coming back down the last weekend in July and we'll be moving up then. It's going to be a long two weeks without him here, but it will be good because both of us can work and get as much cash as possible for the move. Charles is calling around to see if anyone he knows or anyone else knows is working in Daytona Beach or the surrounding area and looking for help. Hopefully we'll be able to find me something quickly. Even if it doesn't pay as much as Charles is paying me, it would hopefully be full or mostly full time and, also, living expenses in Daytona are about HALF of what they are here.

Crazy, I know.

Mommy was happy to be in Orlando because you know what they have in Orlando? Targets and Walmarts. And I have some gift cards from when Miss Abby was born that I wanted to use to get her some 0-3 month clothes because she is finally growing out of her newborn stuff (I think she finally got too long for most of it this last week). I have lots of newborn stuff and lots of over 6 month stuff but now until 6 month stuff is a little less full. So I got a few things for her to fill in the gap. They also have outlets (including an OshKosh outlet!) in Orlando, but we did NOT go. It's good to know it's there, though, for when we need stuff down the line.

So Miss Abby had two firsts last week -- her first experience with Disney and her first experience with fireworks. We didn't go to a Disney park (Abby's a bit young for that, and they're a bit expensive to pretty much just go walk around in) but Momma wanted me to see the marketplace part of Downtown Disney, so last Saturday we went down there are walked around for awhile. Abby was fascinated by all the people and the stuff. Momma got her a stuffed Stitch that's almost as big as she is. She's still very attached to Raffe, but she does like her Stitch -- she hugged on him and chewed on him the entire time we were at Marketplace. Momma also brought me a stuffed Figment from Epcot, that I will most likely share with Abby. It's very cute and makes Mommy a VERY happy girl. I got Momma a stuffed Squirt to go with her stuffed Crush (from Finding Nemo) so she can remember to relax when she needs to.

I also found the "Team Mickey" store, which is dangerous. I do so love some of the stuff in there! And even though we're in Daytona, we're still going to be close enough to go to Disney pretty easily (it might be an hour and a half drive, and that's WITH hitting Disney traffic and going all the way to Ponce Inlet -- Port Orange (where we will most likely actually be living) is about twenty minutes or so closer). My goal is to be able to afford season passes to Disney and a few treats each year from there once Abby is old enough to really get it and have fun.

The fireworks were, of course, Saturday night. The hotel we were staying at was right by Celebration (it was called Seralago -- if any of you are going to Orlando, it's a great hotel, very comfortable and safe and perfectly nice, great for families and rather cheap. Good spot to remember), so we decided to go watch their fireworks. Traffic was, of course, horrible, so we pulled off into an office building parking lot and decided to watch from there. There were a number of other groups doing the same thing and, to be honest, it was perfect. We were able to avoid most of the traffic leaving and, while we couldn't see the really low fireworks perfectly, we could still see the fireworks just fine and were far enough away that the smoke and noise weren't too bad. I was worried about the loud noise frightening Abby, but she was perfectly happy and liked watching the pretty lights. She actually fell asleep towards the end though (considering that they started more than thirty minutes past her usual bedtime and by the time they were ending, it was almost an hour after she usually goes to bed). The noise didn't even seem to phase her!

Lil Miss travelled pretty well. She didn't necessarily LIKE being in her carseat all day for two days and a bit the rest of the time, but she dealt with it. And she was perfectly fine in the hotel (we took her pack and play, so at least that was familiar). She actually let Momma be the one to wake up with her most of the time she was here, so Mommy could get some sleep (though I still generally heard her wake up and would go talk to her). Momma swore up and down that she wanted to get up with her. I think she just wanted as much grandbaby time as she could get her hands on. It was cute. Abby likes her Grandma, though she definitely knows who I am. It's nice to see her face light up when she sees me, and Momma said that in the mornings, when she was up, she would watch the door waiting for me to come in. Very cute.

So it's been a very long week and a half, but it's good. It's going to be okay and things are going to get better. I just know they are.

And I'll try very hard to be god about this again! Love you all!

one more day

June 26, 2009

One more day til Grandma Lynn gets here!! Yay!! This makes us happy. Well, it make Mommy happy and, therefore, make's Lil Miss happy. Cause she likes it when her Mommy is happy.

We switched her to a new bottle. It's MAM brand and it's specifically formulated to "prevent colic". She doesn't get colic, but she does have some gassy problems, so we decided to see how it went. Since I switched her over (and I haven't changed anything but the bottle -- the formula is the same), she hasn't had a gassy fit. So I think it might be working. This makes Mommy happy. It makes me sad when she's hurting or when she has an upset tummy.

She did get very mad at Mommy today. I think she was actually more confused and scared than mad, but she definitely screamed at me. We stopped by the grocery store to get dinner after dropping off a file at work. I was just running in and running out, so I didn't take her car seat in. I just grabbed her and carried her in. Well guess what? The sky opened up while I was in there. When we came out it was pouring. Raining harder than I've seen in a while. We waited until it died down a bit but it wasn't going to stop any time soon. So Mommy put her burp cloth over her head and went as quick as I could to the car. She got wet and there were VERY loud claps of thunder that terrified her and set her off screaming. Then, of course, she was confused as to why she was sitting in her car seat, wet and cold, all the way home. So she screamed at me until we got home and into the house and changed and she got a bottle in her mouth. Then she was finally happy.

But she was NOT a happy camper for that little bit.

She rolled over today. I don't think she did it on purpose or really realized how she did it (she looked rather stunned once she was on her back all of a sudden) but she did it and I'm proud of her!

We also went and got her birth certificate today. It was pretty cool to see our names on it and her name in print. I love it! And there's a lot of new videos on her little site (http://www.youtube.com/angelynnsmommy). Go check em out if you want to see just how active and talkative (not to mention BIG) she is!

I think we may have a problem in the future -- she kept pulling her dress up. Is she going to be one of those little girls that wants to show off her "pretty undies" to everyone? *sigh*

still in key west, where it's too damn hot

June 19, 2009

Lil Miss got her first immunization shots yesterday. Oh good lord let me tell you that was NOT fun.

She was good, she really was. Don't get me wrong: She was not at all shy about letting Mommy know, in absolutely no uncertain terms, that "That fucking hurt!". Right after the needle went into her leg, she looked up at me for about two seconds in absolute shock, then screwed up her face and started screaming. She cried until the nurse was done.

However, she didn't kick. She let me hold her in place and let the nurse do what the nurse had to do without too much trouble. As soon as the shots were over, I stood up (to let her know it was over) and she got a little bit quieter. As soon as we got outside the building, and she was sure it was over, she stopped crying and just snuggled really close and sniffled. I held her and rocked her and cuddled with her in the parking lot for about twenty minutes before putting in her carseat to leave.

I gave her Tylenol like her doctor suggested and she never ran a fever. She was a little fussy yesterday afternoon, but I think that was more because she was in the car a lot yesterday (we took Daddy to the hospital in Marathon before her shots appointment, drove back to Key West for her appointment, back to Marathon to pick up Daddy, back to home to drop Daddy off, back into town to drop off his prescription and get him some OTC sleeping medicine then back home -- LOTS of time in the car) than from the shots. In general, she was so good.

June 20, 2009

It was a bit of a sad day. I had been hoping to be on the road to Orlando first thing this morning, but Jimmy's still sick. That wasn't happening. He kept saying this week that Lil Miss and I should go without him but I didn't want to leave him sick, especially on Father's Day weekend. I asked him if he was saying that because he WANTED us to go, if us not being here would make him feel better, but he said no, he wanted us here.

So we stayed.

Lil Miss misses him, I think. She hasn't really seen him much this week and he hasn't played with her. Every time she *does* see him (when he walks through to get something to drink or something) she grins at him and does the thing where she kicks her feet and reaches towards him, like she does when I go to get her up from her naps. It's a very cute thing to see and it makes me very happy. I'm sure it would make him happy if he noticed it, but Daddy is very sick.

Watching WALL-E tonight before bed.

Lil Miss got to "talk" to her Aunt Anjie today. She called to talk to me about an interview I have next week and Lil Miss was talking a little bit while we were on the phone. I tried putting the phone to her ear so Anj could talk to her (she did) and she could talk to Anj (she didn't). She apparently haven't picked up on the fact that we WANT her to make noise when we put the phone to her ear. Her family wants to hear her talk! Her Grandma Lynn wanted to talk to her this morning, but she was napping when Momma called and I was talking to her.

I'm sad we didn't get to go to Orlando, but Momma's coming down here next weekend, after her conference is over. So Lil Miss and I will get to see her, which is nice. And, hopefully, we'll all three be going to Georgia in the end of July, for the open house at Andy's new church, once they're settled into the parsonage.

It's hot down here. Hot and humid. I feel bad for Lil Miss -- she has GOT to be miserable. I try to keep her room nice and cool for her -- her Daddy likes the cold too, so we're pretty used to it. She's doing really well sleeping in her own room.

She's such a good little baby. Mommy is spoiled.

My liyyle munchikin, being grumpy for some reason.

baby one coming in for landing!

June 18, 2009

Yep, that is my little airplane coming in for a landing! She plays horsey with Daddy and airplane with Mommy (what? Mommy needs to tone up her thighs -- this helps!). She likes it -- she leans forward or she'll "Superman" while up there. It's very very cute.

Lil Miss was so good for me today. We went to work this morning and I knew it was going to be a busy day because Charles is leaving for Costa Rica for ten days tomorrow afternoon. While Lil Miss did decide that the best place to be when Mommy was typing up the dictation was in my lap, once she was there, she was perfectly happy. It was a bit interesting though -- have you ever tried typing with an almost three month old who can't exactly sit up well on her own sitting in your lap?

Let me tell you -- it's quite the experience.

Lil Miss is such a hit up there. The attorneys all love her -- none of them have young children anymore and none of them have grandchildren yet, so there haven't been baby-babies in their worlds for quite awhile. And now that Lil Miss does more than just, you know, sit there and sleep, they think it's great. The first thing Chip does when he comes in is come up to say hi to her and get her to smile (he says it makes her day). And Rae (the other assistant -- her daughter is twenty two and just graduated from West Point (we're very proud of her)) just LOVES Lil Miss. And Lil Miss grins at her all the time. She even lets Rae hold her (not many people other than family have held Lil Miss -- not even Natalie or her daughters. Mainly just me and Jimmy and Lauren, and Grandma Barbara and Grandma Lynn when they were here. Oh, and, of course, her doctor and the nurses). Now part of that is because most of our neighbors and friends are twenty something males that aren't exactly comfortable, you know, holding babies. (c: But mainly? I like holding her. (c:

The Drool Monster attacks again!

Lil Miss had a bit of a grumpy this afternoon (I think she was gassy) but it wasn't horrible and we dealt with it. Thanks for the idea, by the way, Grandma Peggy -- the leg trick worked great -- she stopped fussing right away. She's been trying to be so good for the past few days -- I think she's picking up that something is different in the house and Mommy's slightly stressed. She's doing well sleeping in her nursery. She didn't sleep much today at work and didn't take a long nap this afternoon, so she actually put herself to sleep about seven thirty. I'm fully prepared for her to wake up very very early in the morning. I am, however, going to go wake her up to eat before I go to bed. Also, because I want to put her in her jammies (she's sleeping in a onesie right now -- I didn't expect her to actually be putting herself to bed. I figured she'd wake up again before "bedtime").

Jimmy's still sick. I hate not knowing how to help or how to fix it. I'm still hoping, but I'm preparing myself to not get to go to Orlando this weekend. )c: That makes me a sad panda. I was looking forward to getting off the island and, most importantly to seeing my Momma!

Tomorrow, we have our shots appointment. Mommy is NOT looking forward to that. I don't like it when she cries the "hurt" cry! It breaks my heart. )c:

our little one is a drool monster

June 17, 2009

It was a bit of a better day than yesterday, though still a long one.

Lil Miss slept all night last night in her room, in the pack and play. Because Jimmy is sick and I wanted him to sleep when he could and because I wanted her to sleep as well, I put her in the nursery so they wouldn't wake / keep each other up. I slept on the couch so I wouldn't wake either one taking care of the other.

She slept very well and seemed perfectly happy. So that's a good sign.

I didn't work today. Lil Miss and I spent the day together like usual. We had to go down and pick up WIC checks and, while we were there, the nutritionist weighed her for me. She was twelve pounds and four ounces. She was, however, wearing a dress and had a bit of a wet diaper, I think. So I'm guessing she's right at twelve pounds. My worries that she's not getting enough to eat? Apparently completely unfounded. She's doing just fine. That makes me happy.

My little drool monster -- she was very drooly today.

Other than that? We hung out around the house a lot. We went to the grocery on the way home to get Jimmy more Gatorade. We did laundry. We packed Lil Miss' stuff (other than the things I use on a daily basis and therefore cannot pack beforehand) for this weekend. I'm still hoping we can go, though I'm not sure anymore. Jimmy isn't throwing up much anymore and he's sleeping now. Usually, that means it's almost over. We'll see. I'm not going to let him go unless I'm sure he's better.

After she went to bed? I watched NCIS and did some cleaning. It's been a rather uneventful day.

Oh -- I did get a call setting up another interview for a full time job down here. So, another possibility for something to come through. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

And now? Dinner (.........I forgot to eat today) and then bed.

this will probably be very short

June 16, 2009

Because Mommy's had a very long day.

Lil Miss woke up at four am. Screamed at Mommy for about three and a half hours total (she did give me short breaks every once in awhile). Nothing I did helped. If I put her down, it just got worse. She wasn't wet, she wasn't hungry, she wasn't sleepy, she wasn't hot. I didn't know what was wrong.

I had to wake Jimmy up at eight thirty because I had to leave for work by nine and hadn't even begun to get ready because she wouldn't let me.

As soon as I handed her to him she stopped screaming and was just fussy. Then she stopped all together before I left.

I worked and then went to my interview. Jimmy kept Lil Miss here. He called a few times because he started feeling sick. He's stressed himself out again.

I got home. He said she'd been a little fussy, but over all, she'd been good. Jimmy was sick. So I took the baby. It was three fifty pm.

She proceeded to scream at me again for two and a half hours straight. She finally cried herself out and fell asleep on my shoulder at about seven or so. She's been out pretty much ever since except for me waking her up to put her in her jammies and feed her.

Now she's sleeping her her nursery and Jimmy's sleeping in our room. Mommy gets to sleep on the couch, so I can hear either of them when / if they need me, but this way I won't keep Jimmy up, Jimmy won't wake her and she won't wake him.

Basically? Mommy had a rough day with Lil Miss. It makes me feel like a horrible Mommy when she cries like that because I know something's wrong but I don't know what and I can't fix it. She's not running a fever. She's not sick. She's just crying.

And it breaks my heart.

Finally crashed out on Mommy's shoulder.

she's got a rather good "grumpy" impression

May 28, 2009

Again with the long day. Lil Miss has decided it's a fun game to be awake from about four am until about eight thirty. And that if Mommy tries to lay her in bed with us or lay her down, she'll start crying and wake Daddy. So Mommy stays up with her and, come eight thirty when she goes back down for a nap, Mommy's wide awake.

So Mommy's sleepy.

Lil Miss had a big grumpy this morning. She screamed at me for about two hours straight and nothing I did made it better. I don't know what made my little one so sad, but it made for a very long morning.

"What in the world is that?"

She was good at work today. She had her first real experience with a vacuum cleaner -- the carpets were being steam cleaned today so, before the guy came, the other assistant (Rae) ran the vacuum. It didn't scare Lil Miss but she sure was curious as to what in the world that thing was. It was really cute.

But then we ended up being at work until after six, which meant we had to wait for the seven thirty bus to get home, meaning that we didn't get home until after eight. So she was thrown off. I had her ready for bed before nine but she fought sleep -- hard -- for the next hour and forty five minutes. I thought I had her asleep, but she interrupted me writing this blog waking up -- we JUST got her down. Maybe she'll let Mommy sleep in the morning now. She just did not want to go to sleep tonight!

Well, let's hope tomorrow morning is better, since we're going to work in the morning instead of afternoon. Let's cross our fingers on that one.

We might need it. Her mornings aren't always that great.

Watching her Daddy. She sure does love him.

wherein i'm a "bad mommy" again

Only in that I accidently let the batteries in my camera die. So no picture today (I have one or two, but I have to wait for the battery to be charged to upload them).

Another day of Lil Miss not wanting to take her naps, but being sleepy, so therefore being fussy. It wasn't a horrible day though -- Jimmy only worked half of the day, so he was around this afternoon to help with her. He decided he wanted lasagna for dinner, so he watched her while I went to the grocery store and cooked. Then she and I watched Night at the Museum (one of my favorite movies!) tonight. Mommy is sleepy, cause she woke up so early today and was up for awhile last night, but I'm alright. I'm just going to go to bed early (like as soon as I'm done here).

Lil Miss did the cutest thing tonight and I don't now if it was on purpose or not. In Night at the Museum, there is a T-Rex. That roars a time or two. The first time he roared, we were laying on Mommy and Daddy's bed watching the movie. She was staring right at the screen. When he roared, she did her little "roar" right after it. I don't know if it was a coincidence (I'm sure it was) or if it was a response to the dinosaur (doubt it) but it was cool and very cute.

Also, and I forgot to mention it this morning, she did something last night that she's never done. When she woke up at like one am, she didn't cry. I heard her grumping and grumbling and woke up to get her, figuring she was hungry. So I stand up and lean over to get her out of the bassinet and, as soon as she sees me, she grins this really big grin and then lets out this coo. It was the cutest thing ever and it melted my heart. Even today, when there were a few time she was screaming at me and, as soon as her Daddy touched her, she calmed down, I just had to let myself picture that.

It took away the "she doesn't love me" or "I'm a bad Mommy" thoughts. So I just need to keep running that image through my head.

Also, in that vertical bar to the right, there are videos (if you haven't noticed yet). I have created a channel on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/angelynnsmommy) that had random videos of her, just so y'all can see her and hear her "talk". Just so you know. (c:

Now? Fold laundry and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

eleven pounds of dead weight makes for a long weekend

May 23, 2009

It's been a long long weekend.

After Lil Miss' not sleepy at all Friday, I was expecting Saturday to be a day of naps. Haha, I was wrong -- she was a very SLEEPY baby on Saturday, but not a TIRED baby. Let's just say I had a grumpy butt ALL day on Saturday, who wanted to do nothing but fuss and nothing seemed to make her happy cause she was so sleepy but she refused to go to sleep.

Long day, cause Daddy was working (it's Memorial Day weekend -- long hours too) so Mommy had a fussy and screaming baby. Mommy was tired when she finally went to sleep.

May 24, 2009

Yesterday wasn't a whole lot better. She was actually tired, and wanted to sleep most of the day, but she refused to be put down. So Mommy got to carry around a sleeping baby -- meaning an over eleven pound dead weight -- all day long. Let me tell you how much my arms hurt when I finally got her out for the night and she let me put her down without screaming -- at ten thirty pm.

She was then awake again on this morning and was awake until almost five and then awake again at seven. Mommy is a sleepy sleepy girl.

I don't know what's going on with her. Is she maybe growing again? She is two months old today.

This is how my munchikin sleeps. It canNOT be good for her!

So yeah -- that is how my little one sleeps -- with her face directly against the side of her bassinet. No matter how many times I move her or straighten her back out, it's right back to this. I know she can breathe but it still worries me and I don't know how to stop it. Even when I use the little things that are supposed to keep her in place, she moves them til she's like this.

I don't know why she wants to sleep like that, but she is damn determined. And with me and Jimmy as parents? She's stubborn as a mule. She's going to sleep how she wants to sleep!

Trying to eat her hand. I'm not sure why. She wasn't hungry -- I tried to feed her, she spit it out and put her hand right back in.

Why does she do this? Anyone have any ideas? She tries to eat her hand on a daily basis. Not just her fingers (which she does too) but her whole fist. She can't fit it all in her mouth, but she tries damn hard. Again -- our daughter is a determined little baby. It is kinda funny to watch.

My sleepy sleepy attachmenty baby.

So yeah. I don't know how today is going to be. She's awake right now (she's playing in her bouncer) but I dunno if it's going to be a fussy day, a napping day or a normal day. I guess we'll see. I'll let y'all know tonight. Right now? I'm gonna go play with my munchkin -- and try not to think about how tired I am.

Her little monkey toys. They're so long! She can grip a finger with her toes almost as as with her hands!

it's been a long long day

May 22, 2009

A long day that started at 3:30 am.

I don't know if she's growing or if she had an upset tummy or what but Lil Miss was a grump most of the day. She woke up at 3:30 am (not uncommon), ate (again, not uncommon) but then refused to go back to sleep (VERY uncommon). She didn't fall back asleep until after we got home from work!

She didn't want to be put down in the late hours either -- from when she finished her bottle until about eight am, every time I tried to lay down with her or put her down to play or anything, she would scream. And her Daddy was still trying to sleep, as he had to work this morning, so we walked and bounced, bounced and walked for like four hours straight while Mommy was exhausted and wanted to cry. Luckily, she let me put her down long enough to get ready for work -- she was fussy but didn't scream. We got to work at ten am.

We left by eleven thirty. Because she started throwing a fit at eleven and I couldn't get her to stop. So I apologized to Charles (he said it was fine -- the most important stuff was done already anyway) and we came back home. She fussed on the bus ride, but didn't scream, thank goodness. As soon as we got home, the screaming started again. I had a baby screaming in my ear from the time we got home until the time I finally got her to go down for a nap (I think she finally just used up all her energy) about threeish I think. Between then and eight thirty, when she finally put herself down for the night, she would wake up to eat.

And be fussy for a good bit of the time she was awake.

She had a couple of short amounts of time where she was good for Mommy and Daddy -- that's where today's pictures come from. One of those about fifteen minutes. But all in all? It was a long freakin bad day.

Mommy is so exhausted she's too tired to sleep. Mommy's also a bit sad because her Momma's going to be in Florida in a few weeks (in Orlando) and it doesn't look like I'm going to get to see her.

I miss my Momma.

But now? Off to read and try to get some sleep. Daddy's home from seeing Wolverine now so I think it might be my bedtime.

Lil Miss in her bouncer -- she likes it. Mainly, I think, cause it has a mirror.

"butterfly in the sky, i can go twice as high"

May 21, 2009

She is, in that picture above, contemplating whether or not to scream. She likes warm water, but you'd think I was trying to kill her with the way she cries when I pour water on her head to wash her hair -- even if it doesn't go down her face!

This will probably be rather short, as Mommy is sleepy and has to work early in the morning.

Reading one of her new books with Daddy.

So we've learned, recently, that Lil Miss likes books. Granted, I'm not sure she can understand them yet, but she likes the pictures. And her Grandma Lynn sent her a book today that has textures she can feel and stuff -- she REALLY likes that one. And she likes books with pictures of other babies in them. She likes to look at them.

(But she likes to look at herself more. She loves the mirror I got for the car today (one of those that you put on the backseat, so you can see the rear facing car seat in your rear view mirror) because it means she can sit there and watch herself. And there's a mirror on her bouncy chair too. Lil Miss LOVES her reflection!)

She seems to like the TV too -- I think she likes the flashing lights. Momma also sent us some Baby Einsteins, so I'll probably put one of those on when we get home from work tomorrow, see how she likes it.

Daddy kisses -- she loves those.

We worked this afternoon while Daddy worked this morning. Lil Miss was a grumpy butt for some of the afternoon. I think because it was hot -- she doesn't seem to understand why Mommy can't just make the "hot" go away. And if I'm hot and uncomfortable, I know she must be miserable, since she can't regulate her temperature so well and I know she doesn't understand. I feel bad but really, what can I do? Poor munchkin -- I try to keep her out of the stifling heat as much as possible.

She's getting really good at holding her head up and controlling herself in general. She's almost in control enough that I can hold her on my hip. I can, now, but I have to hold her back cause sometimes she'll just pitch herself backwards. But she's really the cutest most bright eyed baby I've ever seen. She just loves to watch everything. I love it.

One of our neighbors has a grandson who's probably about three and he just LOVES her. Whenever he's here, he asks to see the baby and he just loves it when I'm outside walking her. I was outside with her earlier tonight and Natalie (the neighbor) and both her daughters, plus Julian (the grandson) were out there, so we went over and talked to them for awhile. Natalie and her younger daughter (who's probably 20ish) just couldn't stop cooing over her. I know they would babysit -- I know the daughter really wants to -- but I'm just not ready for babysitters yet. I can leave her with Daddy, but I'm not ready to leave her with other people.

She's my little one. It still makes me anxious to be away from her. I don't think that's ever going to go away.

Oh yeah -- and cookies to those who get the reference in the title.

Sitting on Mommy's lap while we type at work -- I'll have to try and get a picture of the actual typing. It's apparently really cute.

yes, a morning update! (cause mommy was sleepy last night)

May 15, 2009

Smiling and giggling and laughing -- Lil Miss was feeling much better yesterday! Mommy not so much, but Lil Miss is better and I'm hoping I'll be better soon. She was such a happy and cuddly baby yesterday and it was a nice change from the fussy sick baby I'd had for the past few days. We changed her formula (to soy) and it seems to be sitting a bit better. She hasn't really been spitting up at all and her tummy seems to be settling down. Her Daddy has problems with digesting milk, so I wonder if Lil Miss is lactose intolerant. I'll have to talk to her doctor about it.

Being a sweet little observant thing on the bus.

We went to work yesterday. Charles wasn't there (on his way out of town) but there were a number of things we could get done -- including starting a bill that we'll be working on this weekend because Charles won his case that was in trial this week! Yay! And our client was awarded attorney's fees, which means that I get to create a second bill that covers everything that has been done in this case (this case has been around for seven years -- if we hadn't won, we weren't going to bill the client for EVERYTHING. With this? Yep. You do. Everything. Every little moment. And guess who gets to recreate it? So much fun. Really).

So we went to work and Lil Miss was, of course, so very very good. But Mommy did I bad thing -- I left Moo Cow on my desk. Lil Miss hasn't screamed at me for it, but she was not very happy on the bus. She would reach for him (and last night when she was going to bed) and he wouldn't be there and she's fuss for a minute. So we're going to go down and get it this morning (after I get my hairs cut. Yup. Getting them cut). If it's not too yucky, we may walk around for awhile.

Daddy's feeling lots better and worked again yesterday and today. It makes him tired, cause, well, he ride on rough water and lifts jet skis all day, but he says he's not letting it stress him out too much and that since he's not working as many days, it's okay.

I'm trying to get him to go see Wolverine with one of his friends cause I know he would like that. And they're (he and some of his friends) going jet skiing one day this week, which he'll love. Doing it for fun, not just work. So we'll see.

Oh, and when I feel like sitting here and uploading all the pictures (cause it takes a bit -- so probably this afternoon when Lil Miss is napping), I've taken pictures of the apt. So I'll give y'all a walk through.

Love you all!

Being a cutie -- like always. I think she was looking at Zeus.

at least it's over now

Momma -- do you remember that book Where the Heart Is? With Novalee, who hated sevens and though they were bad luck? Well, today, I felt like I was channeling her. It is Lil Miss's seven week birthday and we had a difficult day.

It was a long LONG day.

I think Lil Miss is a little sick -- I think she had an upset tummy most of the day. (If you don't want to hear about Lil Miss's bodily things, go to the next paragraph). She had a very messy diaper this morning, after having one last night (less than twelve hours). And it seemed that every time she ate a bottle, she would get a small messy diaper. And she was extremely fussy and clingy all day and seemed a bit more gassy than usual. So I think she had an upset tummy.

Which, of course, means that Mommy had a long day. We went to work this morning / early afternoon cause Charles is in trial this week. Lil Miss went cause Daddy didn't get much sleep and also wanted to be able to go down and talk to some people about possible part time jobs. So Lil Miss went to work with me today and was very very fussy. So we had a very rough day.

I finally got her to pass out about an hour ago. Then I went to take a bath before coming on here and then going to sleep.

Sorry I don't have any pictures from today. I only have one taken, and it wasn't very good. I spent most of the afternoon / evening walking and bouncing on the sidewalk outside because she seemed to like being outside. We walked up to the corner store -- walking and bouncing -- and back and forth outside. She would calm down and then we would come back inside and within ten minutes, she'd be screaming again and back outside to the walking and bouncing we'd go.

Mommy's arms hurt and Mommy's tired.

If she does this again tomorrow, I'm calling her doctor.

and lil miss makes it all better

May 11, 2009

Yeah............Mommy was sick yesterday. I felt like crap. Even after I took my bath, I still felt like crap. So Lil Miss was a bit fussy and we were laying on the couch. Apparently we fell asleep -- and Daddy took a picture. I should kick him -- I LOOK sick. But it's a cute picture and, honestly, it's my favorite way to sleep now. I love cuddling with my little monkey -- she's such a good cuddlebug.

May 12, 2009

So Mommy worked today. And Lil Miss didn't. She stayed home with Daddy. And gave Daddy a taste of what Mommy has been trying to tell him for the last six weeks -- she's a good baby, but she's not always the easiest baby to take care of. She's put herself on a bit of a schedule -- wakes up between 7 and 9 and is awake til early afternoon (2 to 3ish). She wants to play in the mornings. She'll take little power naps, but not sleep much. Then she wakes up about 5 or 6ish and is awake until about 9 or 10, when she puts herself to bed for the night, just waking up to eat.

Daddy got a taste of Lil Miss being awake for a few good hours today. Maybe he won't think my job was so easy anymore. (c:

Don't look at the face -- look at how well she's sitting up!!! (Even if she does need some help)

So work wasn't bad, but it was hard. I just wanted to get everything done as quick as possible so I could get home. I missed my little bunny. As soon as I came home, even though she was asleep, I went and picked her up and held her for a bit and felt a bit better.

You would be proud of me -- I didn't really cry. It was hard and it sucked, but I didn't cry. It took longer to leave this morning than usual though, cause I didn't want to leave her and she was rather fussy.

I love her though. She seemed happy to see me tonight and was very sweet and cuddly. It's so good to come home and go to pick her up and see her smile when she sees me. Nothing better.

Watching Transformers (one of our favorite movies) with Daddy.

She likes the TV. I think she just likes the moving pictures and the flashing lights, but when she's laying on our bed with us, or on the couch with us, like above, she watches the TV. I know she doesn't understand it, but she watched Transformers with Daddy for a good twenty minutes. It was very cute.

Daddy says we need to get her some Baby Einsteins. He says they start at 3 months -- and that will be here before I know it!

Best picture we've managed of her sticking her tongue out. Her "yuck" face (like when she spits out her bottle cause she's done). It's TOO cute!

She's getting big. A friend of ours who hadn't seen her in like three weeks came by this evening and was just like "Wow, she's getting bigger!" I couldn't agree more. She's getting very heavy and very long. I think she's grown again. Her two month doctor's appointment is coming up in like a week and a half, so they'll be able to tell me how much she weighs and how long she is.

Though I'll also have to get her immunizations done. NOT looking forward to that part.

Finally zonked out -- and yes, she's sucking on her fingers.

And she's finally out. Mommy still doesn't feel good, so it's cheesecake time and then? Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

and i'm a wreck

Sorry about not posting yesterday -- I wasn't feeling good at ALL and I worked and everything, so when I finally got Lil Miss down for the night, I went straight to bed. I actually asked for help last night, you should all be proud of me. I said the words "I need a break" because I was sick and needed to take a bath and try to feel better -- and I felt horrible doing it too.

So yeah -- working today. And, for the first time, I've left my Lil Miss. And I hate it. I'm a wreck -- I just want to get everything done and get home already. I'm waiting on someone to call me back and then I'm going home. Jimmy's been calling (he's feeling much much MUCH better, btw) so I know she's okay, but I'm still anxious and I still just want to go home so I can see her and hold her and love on her. I miss her.

It makes me feel like I'm going crazy!!

I'll post more -- with pictures too -- tonight. As soon as I get lots of loving and cuddle time with my sweet little girl!

my first mommy's day with the munchkin

May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day to all the women in my world again! I got to spend all day with my own little Mother's Day present and it was, of course, good. She was a little fussy at times but, hey, what baby isn't? She was also VERY cuddly for a good bit of the day, which is always nice.

Playing hide and seek with the camera.

Jimmy's still sick. I don't know what to do to fix it and I hate it. He's taking his medicine. He's not eating anything he shouldn't (he's really not eating anything). He drinking lots of liquids. And he's still sick.

I hate this.

It's stress that sets it off, I'm sure. His work stresses him out like crazy (not the work, but mainly the people he works with). So I talked to Charles today and he said he could come up with some more hours for me. And I'm still applying for other things and he's putting in a good word for me at one of the positions.

Basically, we're going to see what we can make work. I'm not sure Jimmy's going back to work and, if he does, it will not be as much, just a few days a week. He'll take care of Lil Miss during the day and I'll work as close to full time or more as I can.

Being a fussy little monkey.

Lil Miss is so good to me. She's so good at work -- she really is! Since I didn't get to work Thursday or Friday, and since Charles has a trial starting tomorrow, I worked yesterday and again today. Charles was there for awhile this morning and remarked on how good she is and how amazing it is that she just amuses herself (I always make sure to have Moo Cow and I take other toys too -- there's a drawer in my desk that has a few of her toys and such that I just leave there). She was perfect the whole time he was there. She's was perfect pretty much all day. She got a little fussy towards the end (when we'd been there for five and a half hours already) but that's to be expected and all that I had left to do was stuff I can do from home anyway.

She saved the being really fussy for when we got home.

We had a long evening -- I think she was gassy, so she was crying and fussy and just wanted to be held. I think it was part gassy, part hot (it's Key West in May -- it gets a bit warm), part sleepy (that she was fighting really hard) and I think part just grumpy/sad/had a long week and needed cuddle time. She did let me talk to Momma on Skype for awhile (so I could show off how big Lil Miss is getting!) but got really fussy after about fifteen minutes so we got off the phone. And I basically held, cuddled and bounced her for the next four hours.

But now she's sleeping and I think Mommy's going to head that way. I hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Love you all!

Burying herself in Mommy's shoulder. I can't help but melt when she does that.

i officially have the best baby ever

May 8, 2009

And another long day. Long couple of days. Heck, it's been a long long week.

Long story short: Gramma and Laurie have been here since Tuesday night and Jimmy has been sick most of it. He'll start to feel better, but then it all comes back and starts again and he's sick. He feels really bad right now because he feels like he's destroyed Gramma and Laurie's vacation, but they're still doing things because we're making them. No one is upset with him, obviously, but he's upset with himself and I don't know how to fix that. I also don't know how to make him not sick, which I HATE.

I do NOT like being helpless.

Lil Miss and Gramma -- all dressed up!

Lil Miss is officially the best baby ever. She spent most of the day in her car seat (I feel SO bad about that -- we were going to Theater of the Sea (hour and a half to two hour drive), Daddy got sick so we turned around when we got there and headed back, dropping him at the hospital in Marathon (hour and a half to two hours back), Mommy had to go pick up documents from work so I could work on them tonight (about thirty minutes in the car total) and then she and I went to pick him up when they released him (an hour each way). So all in all be spent eight to nine hours in her car seat in the car today. I feel like a horrible Mommy for that. )c: ) and she was so good the whole time! At one point, Gramma actually said she almost forgot the baby was even in the backseat because she was so quiet.

She is the best baby ever and we are incredibly spoiled. I joked today that I think she just wants a sibling, so she's being good so we won't swear off babies. (c: (But no -- no siblings any time soon).

Sleeping in her carseat during the long road trip.

I realized something last night that I hadn't really realized. It makes me incredibly anxious to be away from her. I don't like it. Even if I'm in our room and she's out in the living room with Daddy instead of in her bassinet next to me, I don't like it. It makes me anxious and upset. I want her with ME. I don't like leaving her or putting her down and I'm uncomfortable letting or asking other people to take care of her or help. Yes, it's making me tired. Yes, it's somewhat stressing me out. But I can't help it. It makes me so anxious I want to cry.

Seriously -- last night I was tired and stressed out to the point that I was about to cry and Jimmy wanted me to give her to Gramma and Laurie to hold for awhile while I tried to sleep and all I could think was "don't take my baby -- just don't take her. I want her here". She makes me feel better and not having her makes me feel worse.

Is this normal? It makes me feel slightly crazy!

(Sorry this is kinda short -- it's late, been a long week, I'm tired. I think I'm going to bed now.)

real quick -- there will be more later

May 6, 2009

I know, I know, I'm a slacker. But it's been a long view days -- Jimmy's been sick, I've been working and keeping the baby, Gramma and Laurie have been here and, also, the camera has been missing. So I don't have pictures from yesterday, but Laurie will be sending me some of the ones she took, so I'll post those when they get home and she sends them to me.

But Jimmy's better now, Mommy has slept and isn't stressed out and we're going to Theater of the Sea today to see dolphins and sea lions and all that good stuff. Should be fun. And I'll be working tonight and tomorrow morning.

So yeah, sorry for being a slacker, but my hands have been pretty full and we've been busy. So I'll post more later. Just wanted to say we're doing alright and haven't disappeared (c:

look at me! look at me! (and mommy makes a mistake)

May 4, 2009

Look at her! She did that all on her own with no help from Mommy and held that pose for a good two minutes. I'm so proud of her -- she's getting really good control of her neck.

And she rolled over! She rolled from her tummy to her back all on her own with no help and no prodding! I tried to get her to do it again so I could get it on film (cause of COURSE I didn't have the video part of the camera on and I wasn't taking pictures at that moment) but Lil Miss decided it was not rolling over time. It was, instead, cuddle and love on Lil Miss time. So we cuddled and loved on Lil Miss.

When you hold her up at your shoulder (like when you're burping her), she holds her head up and looks around. She likes mirrors and likes things that move (like, you know, the flashing lights on the television). Basically, she likes to stare at and watch things. When we're on the bus (and she's not asleep) she picks a spot and stares at it very very intently. There was actually a debate today on our way home from work (the bus was very full) amongst the other bus riders about what she was or was not staring at.

They were also all exclaiming over how cute she is. Everyone tells me that. And I just say "I know!"

Sleeping on Daddy's bean bag chair. And no, that's not a blankie. That's a burp cloth. When she's half asleep when being burped, she grabs on. And Lil Miss has a death grip when she wants to.

She sleeps well when she's out, but she's also good at fooling Mommy -- being asleep when I'm holding her but, as soon as I put her down, waking up. So I've stopped putting her down unless I KNOW she's out. Like when the arms go loose, the legs bounce when I'm rocking her and, well, the head would flop back if I would let it. You know -- OUT out. And then, and only then, Mommy puts her down to sleep. And like I said, she sleeps pretty well.

Oh, so yeah, Mommy made a mistake today. I've actually made it a time or two and I need to stop with it!

So Jimmy and I haven't exactly decided on what we're going to call Lil Miss from day to day. Her name is kind of long and, my guess is, it will get shortened at some point. There are a number of possible nicknames from her name, but right now, we tend to call her Munchkin, Honey, Sweetie or (in my case) Bunny. But today, at work, she was being a little fussy and I was walking her (cause Charles was on the phone on my desk and I didn't want her talking to get in the way) and talking to her. And know what I said? "Hush, little Angie, it's okay."

Angie. That is the one nickname I swore I wasn't going to use on her because, well, Anj is Anjie. It would be confusing if there were two of them. Thinking about it, I think I've made the mistake a few times. It just comes out, you know? I guess cause part of me is so used to saying it (you know, considering the fact that I've been calling my sister that for what, twenty five years? (Good gosh that makes me feel old. I was actually walking and talking over twenty five years ago!)) so it just comes out without me thinking about it.

But I do not want to make Anj share her name, or make Lil Miss share her name. I would prefer not to have any of the "Big Anjie" / "Little Angie" kind of deals that I've seen in some families. It gets confusing after awhile.

So yeah, no calling her Angie. Bad, Mommy. No cookie for you! (but I don't eat cookies........so why do I care about that?)

Okay then -- no Sprite for you! (okay. That's a threat!)

Watching big brother Zeus watching her. They had a staring contest.
Was mondo cute.

So Grandma Barbara and her friend Laurie (or is it Lori? -- Uncle Camron's girlfriend's mother) are coming into town tomorrow night and we can't wait. We're very excited. Though it also makes me miss my mommy (but then again, I pretty much always miss Maminka). We've so got to try to make a road trip to Georgia and Carolina this summer!

Jimmy's still kind of sick. He's been asleep all day, so I think he's doing a little better, but he's still sick and feels horrible and there's nothing I can do about it and I HATE that. Oh, and I tripped on an XBox cord tonight and, being that I was holding Lil Miss at the time, I wasn't exactly able to catch myself well. Luckily, I didn't fall and I didn't drop (or even wake up) the baby, but I stepped really wrong and hurt my foot and ankle. )c: Not fun. It hurts.

But hey -- I've been there before, done that before. I'll deal and be fine.

I'm just glad Lil Miss didn't get hurt. I would never ever forgive myself.